Forever

ok it's like this ..

sometimes you love 'em .. and sometimes they drive you round the bend - but family's family right? blood's thicker than water ...

because of some of the shifts i've recently gone through, i've realised that sometimes in life we are constantly being given the chance to be 'tested' on those learnings, to step up and rise to the challenge or adversity each situation may bring us .. every day, in every way ..

anyway, yesterday i heard this track from a melbourne band called 'the emergency' with their track 'forever' - it's a dark dirty electro number .. yeh, another genre close to my heart (being the retro 80's chic that i am) ..

time keeps going on forever ..

i thought i would weave the title into some kind of meaning and significance (given the time & place) along with a shift in consciousness when i heard it ... AND also because it held some relevance to my horoscope today ..

Be gently assertive. Be sensitively strong. Be delicately determined. Be compassionately ruthless. Be aware that the situation you face requires great tenacity and clarity. Be aware too, that there are feelings and fears involved. Regardless of how others behave, you must act impeccably. That doesn't mean allowing yourself to be walked all over. Nor, though, does it mean you can walk over anyone else. Try for an ideal outcome that works for everyone. There's just a chance you might find one.

Walking On Sunshine

now, who could forget katrina & the waves .. ?

i was certainly reminded of them & their classic 80's track on the weekend - who wouldn't be 'walking in sunshine' with three cute guys walking right behind you (see the video clip) :) heeeeyyy ...

it's such a 'feel good' karaoke / dance song - guaranteed to pump those hungry-ass endorphins when in need of a good pick me up :)

ahh .. love seemed so much easier, simpler & fun in the 80's, didn't it ?

i used to think maybe you loved me
now i know that it's true

Intoxicated By Love

i had to share this beautiful rumi verse from 'the gift of love - a collection of readings by deepak & friends - madonna, demi moore, martin sheen, debra winger & others ... (set to luscious middle eastern music) - i bought the cd last night when i met & spoke with deepak himself ..

who of us have not felt rumi's words or been swayed by love's intoxication .. ?

behind the veils intoxicated with love,
i too dance the rhythm of this moving world
i have lost my senses in this world of lovers

With My Eyes Closed

aahhhh .. perhaps it's just best to let the song & lyrics reveal all ...

i won't go into it too much here .. but this song is reminiscent of one of those times when you attract the wrong kinda person into your life - much like a mirror projection of one's own repressed subconscious fears and or desires .. those old patterns repeating themselves again and again .. uh huh, you know what i mean !!

i saw the raveonettes a few months ago when they toured sydney - they're of danish background, via new york and pretty wicked if you're into the more darker synth fuzz sound .. this is one of their more sombre ballad tracks ..

i read a review that described them as the cure meets portishead ? you be the judge of that - here are the raveonettes with their ballad 'with my eyes closed' ..

also - i should mention that i was probably more totally obssessed with this song for weeks 'aly walk with me' - i just couldn't get over the intro & guitar riffs before the chorus .. thanks to a scandinavian mate of mine ;)

original clip



live

Iris

oi .. how could i possibly forget the goo goo dolls' 'iris' from the city of angels soundtrack?

this is one of my fave anchor anthem songs (it has significant archetypal resonance for me again - 'i just want you to know who i am') ..

what i love most is watching john reznik in this live version in buffalo new york on a wet july 4th independence day - all hot .. and all wet .. did i mention wet?

And I'd give up forever to touch you
Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now

And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
Cause sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight

And I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything feels like the movies
Yeah you bleed just to know you're alive

Classic Rock Ballads

on the previous blog theme of soft rock ballads from the 80s & 90s .. i thought it fitting to continue the tribute to some of the top soft rockers that etched their way into my musical memory when i was a mere teen.

i remember hanging out with the year 10 galswhen i was in year 8 - because we caught the same train line .. probably another influence in my diverse musical tastes .. one of the girls had the hots for jon bon jovi. i didn't really understand all the fuss back then - but then again, i was only 13 .. i did however grow to like a couple of their ballads a year or two later - 'i'll be there for you' & 'always' brought back some gory cute memories of high school .. haha ..

then there was meatloaf with 'two out of three ain't bad' & 'i'd do anything for love (but i won't do that)' .. ahh - such classics they were .. i mean he really sang from a raw state, didn't he?

we can't forget the chics either - i absolutely adore concrete blonde's 'joey' .. the empathy of her deep voice just tore open my heart when i first heard it at 15 or something - i loved this song way before i even really got it ..

i just stand by and watch you
fight your secret war
although i used to wonder why -
i used to cry till i was dry
still sometimes i get a strange pain .. inside

and if I seem to be confused
i didnt mean to be with you
and when you said I scared you,
well I guess you scared me too



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ABnPx-gcn6g&feature=related

oh oh .. and i have a soft spot for whitesnake's 'is this love' - man, i reckon i must've lived parallel lives back then .. i don't know how some of these songs resonated with me so much when i was younger .. freaky shit !!

is this love .. that i'm feeling
is this the love .. that i've been searching for
is this love .. or am i dreaming
this must be love
cos it's really got a hold on me

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ujnH4yNqL8E

but i'd have to say - guns n roses' 'november rain' was one of the definitive rock ballads of that era ..

i mean, that brilliant piano intro, stephanie seymour looking white hot & slash's guitar solo all in a tragic twisted dark theme of death & transition .. rock meets classical - GNR pulled it off better than any other rock band of their genre ain their time i reckon - again, i probably got the subtle archetypal behind the song long before i really understood its relevance on a more conscious level .. what is with that?

and when your fears subside
and shadows still remain
i know that you can love me
when there's no one left to blame

I Remember You

as an addendum to the last post, i totally dig this live version of skid row's 'i remember you' .. seriously folks, sebastian bach is friggin' awesome - as far as i'm concerned, he is/was the only frontman for skid row worth talking about .. that voice, that enigmatic stage presence - he almost has such a feminine quality about him .. like an uber improved dionysian pansy soft rock ballad god or something ..

it has only taken me nearly a decade to experience a profound psychological realisation .. to really 'feel' it in my bones .. in my core .. to really feel what i did to another person .. another soul - something deep within me stirred by reflection & introspection .. i am no saint - but who of us, really is?

again, i am sorry - i hope you can forgive me some day for what i did to you .. i am sorry for being so selfish back then ..

watching bach belt it out renders me on the cusp of ...

let's just say it's worth watching the whole 9 min clip just for entertainment's sake i reckon - man, does he veer off on emotional tangents .. what fools we were when we were young & in love .. OI - my tragic heart & soul deserves no less than what it dished out ..

Loso

just another nostalgic trip down memory lane .. i know it's been almost a decade & you will probably never read this, but i just wanted to send it out to the universe anyway .. thank you for being in my life - all the things we shared will never be forgotten ..

we shared a past, a history, a connection - i know now that it was all part of a grander lesson & our karmic tie is now complete & has made us both who we are today .. i hope you are truly happy where you are at now - for you were probably the first & only one (so far) who knew me whole & accepted me for everything, in spite or despite everything ..

i am deeply humbled .. thank you for showing me the depth of your love .. i am sorry for all the hurt i caused - i realise it must have been painful for you .. but know that karma has not let me get away with it ..

this dedication is for you - so you know that i understand what you went through .. there will always be a place in my soul for what you & our 'connection' has taught me - strange & bewildering as it was ..

Heart

so whilst surfing cyberspace as usual on an esoteric theme of interest of mine, i chanced upon some swami yogi guru dude who wrote the following on the authentic quest for 'self' and his simple message was that the heart ALWAYS knows - the heart ALWAYS has the answer ..

of course, i've always known this .. but it's always good to get an affirmation of sorts .. yeh ?

When your question is not intellectual but is existential,
you will find within yourself something more.

Then you will know that your mind had many questions before, but was not receptive of any answer. Only your heart, which knows only love and trust, has always been silently waiting, knowing no question.

Your mind always questions and receives no answer, your heart never questions and yet it has the answer.

It never denies connection with your being, your soul; and all that is valuable comes out from your heart - your love is a proof.

When you come to me carrying your mind you remain a disciple, your mind makes you jumping like monkeys - one branch to other, one guru to another guru; but when your heart takes over then happens a revolution; then you are no more a disciple - you are a devotee.

Your false questioning ego drops; your innocence opens your inner door of being - your step towards enlightenment - which was always there.

and so here is my song for the day / night / dusk / dawn ... 'heart' by pet shop boys ... trash bag diva at her best .. or worst .. oi, i just love the song alright !?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=12tyZRFkzFI